Salacious Advice: Fisting

Dear Salacious Advisors,
My sweetie and I have been experimenting with fisting, and we’re both really excited about trying it.  We get the mechanics of it all, but we’ve yet to actually get to the whole fist part.  How can we get there?  Is this even safe?

~Help! And Needs Direction

Dear HAND,

Fisting is sort of like an athletic event.  It can be physically and psychologically intense.  It involves practice and incremental progress.  You need to play safely to avoid injury. And every event requires a warm-up, the right equipment, the right fluids, good mechanics, and the right strategy.

  • Warm-up:  You and your teammate are going to need to be relaxed, you’re going to need to trust each other, and you’re going to need be pumped (and by pumped i mean dog-in-heat turned on).  Neither of you will get to “the whole fist part” if you’re anxious, scared, or not really into it.  Be clear with each other about your limits and communicating such.  Also, dear fister: clip your nails and wash your hands.
  • Equipment: if you are practicing safer sex with your partner(s), use a medical-grade glove (available in latex or non-latex), easily found at drugstores or your local sex (toy) shop.
  • Fluids: you’re going to need lube.  I don’t care how turned on you get, i don’t care how wet you get—if, that is, you’re going somewhere that (for some people) self-lubricates—you still need lube if you want a whole fist in there.  Try a water or silicone-based lube if you are practicing safer fisting with latex gloves; water, silicone, and/or oil-based lubes are safe to use with polyurethane, nitrile, or no gloves.
  • Mechanics and strategy: one finger at a time in the vagina or anus until you get to the knuckles, then ease in the knuckles. Once you’re in, slowly make a fist and play around with squeezing, expanding, pulsing it.  Easier said than done, though–especially if you or your partner are having reservations about safety, feeling pressure to reach a goal, or unsure about how to even get started.

So practice, practice, practice. Ignoring any of these steps can result in vaginal or anal rips or tears, urinary tract infections, sexually transmitted diseases, and/or a whole lot of discomfort. If the fistee is feeling pain, you’re going too far, too fast.

Eventually, you’ll get to a point that feels pleasurable and (pleasurably) intense to you—at which point, you win.

Trophies may be awarded.

jlt

Sex. Romance. How-to. How not to. Queer Etiquette. Fuck etiquette. Anything else you want to throw at us.  Salacious Advisors lust for your questions.  Email us at advice@salaciousmagazine.com

 

About salaciousmagazine

Katie Diamond is an artist, activist, do-gooder, sex-geek, feminist queer with a penchant for ink pens and comix with an x.
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1 Response to Salacious Advice: Fisting

  1. BikeSmut says:

    Fantastic! This is all great advice but I think you may have missed the most important part of fisting is that you dont make a typical fist. When “punching vag” please be sure to wrap your fingers around your thumb, rather than leaving that opposing digit on the outside.

    Thanks for making the potentially awkward less so.

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